Ok, so clearly my Facebook status has intrigued some people. Here is the full story for your reading pleasure.
So, as we may have already concluded from previous posts, the lawyers at my school are sometimes (most times) not that smart. They keep finding "solutions" for my fellow Canadians and me to stay in the country, but they always backfire. The last one, as you may recall, was the saga of the explosive diarrhea, which got us a "tolerated residence" stamp that was supposed to be good until December 26th.
Yesterday, December 22nd (pre-visa-expiry, you may notice), I flew from Vienna to Zurich, then from Zurich to Montreal. In Zurich, I had to go through passport control. I was not stressed about it all, but maybe I should have been... when I got up to the counter, the officer (whom I cannot refer to as he or she, because I honestly couldn't decide) looked through my passport at my stamps, then looked back up at me and asked me whether or not I had actually entered the EU in August. I said yes (there was stamp, how could I lie?). The officer then proceeded to count the number of months I'd ben around on his/her fingers and came up with four... one too many. We then had a brief discussion in which I pointed out my "tolerated residence", thinking this would clear things up. False. I was met with nothing more than I blank stare and a "I've never seen this before, we'll have to check it." A quick phone call later, another officer arrived, took my passport and boarding pass and walked away. Super. He was back within 5 minutes, and he lead me to the immigration part of the airport (i.e. the police station within the airport). I waited there about 10 minutes, stressing about how much trouble I was about to get in and about how my flight was boarding in 10 more minutes.
Finally, the man came back out with my passport. He said "I've never seen this stamp before. This is nothing." Again, wonderful. Then, his gaze dropped to my boobs. It stayed there for the entire remainder of the conversation. As he stared at my bosom, I told him that this was all I had, this was what the Slovak police gave me. He continued to say it was nothing, and that I wasn't supposed to stay in the EU longer than 3 months (he also counted on his fingers... this makes me feel much better about my first graders' math skills) and that overstaying that time incurs a fine of 580 Swiss Francs. He was very stern with my breasts. Exasperated, I told him there was nothing I could do, so to just get on with it. I figured I would just pay the fine and get on with my day... it was not worth missing my flight. I said "So, what do I do?" His answer: to shove my passport at my boobs (where he was still looking) and say "Go to your flight." I fled, and didn't look back.
Apparently, a good stare at my tatas is worth at least 580 Francs. Good to know.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Street Meat Heaven!
Let's see... when I last posted, I was thisclose to being kicked out of the country and Kristelle came to the rescue by becoming my "assistant". With that crisis out of the way, we were free to tackle our next mission - to visit all the big Christmas markets in three weeks' time. Success! Here's how it went.
As you all know, Kristelle's first official Slovak weekend was spent in the somewhat-crappy, though outstanding smelling Bratislava Christmas market. We drank some hot wine, froze our tatas off looking at doilies and were left with an ominous feeling about markets to come. Nevertheless, we headed to Prague the following weekend. We took a train on Friday night and drank some mildly alcoholic Coke on the 4 and a half hour ride. When we got there, it was already 1 o'clock in the morning, so we basically crashed right away. The next morning, we set out for the markets. When we arrived at the first one, we were reminded of Bratislava. Small, great smell, boring to shop at. We figured that even though the market seemed crappy, we could at least spend the weekend visiting Prague. So, we started walking away from this market, only to turn the corner and run into another, slightly larger, market. We visited this one thoroughly, then continued on, taking pictures of the amazing architecture on the way. Once again, we turned a corner and BAM! another market stood before us. This one was gigantic! We walked up and down the aisles and were in complete sensory overload. Half pigs roasting to one side, chocolate covered fruits on the other, shops here, stalls there, hot wine, hot chocolate with rum... the list goes on and on. We were in awe! We spent the better part of the day shopping, eating, and drinking and finally capped it all off with a visit to the "love bridge" and the Lennon Wall, a huge brick wall dedicated to john Lennon, completely covered in graffiti quoting his songs and ideals. It was pretty sweet! The next day, we went back to the market (of course!) because there was no way we could have fully appreciated it in one day. We also took time out of our busy shopping and eating schedule to take a look at the world's biggest castle. As it's name suggests, it's huge!!! There wasn't even a way to get the whole thing in one picture, because no matter how far away you stood, it was still too big! After two whirlwind days in Prague, we were already beginning to feel excited about what was awaiting us in Budapest.
The following weekend, that's exactly where we went. Upon arrival in Budapest, we had no idea where we were, so we asked around. We figured it could not be that difficult to find a huge outdoor market with a giant Christmas tree as its center in the heart of Budapest. Wrong. We asked and asked and asked, and still no one seemed to know what the "Christmas market" was, let alone where we could find it. Eventually, someone told us to take bus #7 and go two stops. We did. It lead nowhere. We walked and walked and walked and finally came across a dinky little street, haphazardly decorated and containing about 10 stalls. Disappointment began to creep in. We shopped a little bit, and at every stall asked whether there was another market somewhere else. We got "No"s all around. We started thinking about leaving early.
Finally, at the end of this rink-a-dink road, we saw a hot wine stall. Having come all the way to Budapest for such a terrible market, we decided wine was a must. Just for good measure we asked the bartender whether or not there was another market. He said yes!!! A good 30 minute walk later, we found it. Huge, beautiful, delicious-smelling Christmas market! This one was my favourite of all. The stalls were cuter than any of the others, the food was different and amazing, and the shopping was actually good (i.e. not just doilies and angels!) We froze our butts off (I know, we are running out of body parts!) shopping around all day, but were not at all bothered by it, because it was so amazing!
Overall, I would say that the Christmas markets were a complete and total success. Although we have probably gained about 10 pounds each from all the booze and food, we are thoroughly satisfied with the experience and recommend that everyone visit the Christmas markets around here at least once!
Tonight, we are heading to Vienna to sleep in our somewhat skeezy looking hotel and tomorrow, we are flying home. It's hard to believe this day is already here, but it is.
See you all tomorrow!!
Steph :)
As you all know, Kristelle's first official Slovak weekend was spent in the somewhat-crappy, though outstanding smelling Bratislava Christmas market. We drank some hot wine, froze our tatas off looking at doilies and were left with an ominous feeling about markets to come. Nevertheless, we headed to Prague the following weekend. We took a train on Friday night and drank some mildly alcoholic Coke on the 4 and a half hour ride. When we got there, it was already 1 o'clock in the morning, so we basically crashed right away. The next morning, we set out for the markets. When we arrived at the first one, we were reminded of Bratislava. Small, great smell, boring to shop at. We figured that even though the market seemed crappy, we could at least spend the weekend visiting Prague. So, we started walking away from this market, only to turn the corner and run into another, slightly larger, market. We visited this one thoroughly, then continued on, taking pictures of the amazing architecture on the way. Once again, we turned a corner and BAM! another market stood before us. This one was gigantic! We walked up and down the aisles and were in complete sensory overload. Half pigs roasting to one side, chocolate covered fruits on the other, shops here, stalls there, hot wine, hot chocolate with rum... the list goes on and on. We were in awe! We spent the better part of the day shopping, eating, and drinking and finally capped it all off with a visit to the "love bridge" and the Lennon Wall, a huge brick wall dedicated to john Lennon, completely covered in graffiti quoting his songs and ideals. It was pretty sweet! The next day, we went back to the market (of course!) because there was no way we could have fully appreciated it in one day. We also took time out of our busy shopping and eating schedule to take a look at the world's biggest castle. As it's name suggests, it's huge!!! There wasn't even a way to get the whole thing in one picture, because no matter how far away you stood, it was still too big! After two whirlwind days in Prague, we were already beginning to feel excited about what was awaiting us in Budapest.
The following weekend, that's exactly where we went. Upon arrival in Budapest, we had no idea where we were, so we asked around. We figured it could not be that difficult to find a huge outdoor market with a giant Christmas tree as its center in the heart of Budapest. Wrong. We asked and asked and asked, and still no one seemed to know what the "Christmas market" was, let alone where we could find it. Eventually, someone told us to take bus #7 and go two stops. We did. It lead nowhere. We walked and walked and walked and finally came across a dinky little street, haphazardly decorated and containing about 10 stalls. Disappointment began to creep in. We shopped a little bit, and at every stall asked whether there was another market somewhere else. We got "No"s all around. We started thinking about leaving early.
Finally, at the end of this rink-a-dink road, we saw a hot wine stall. Having come all the way to Budapest for such a terrible market, we decided wine was a must. Just for good measure we asked the bartender whether or not there was another market. He said yes!!! A good 30 minute walk later, we found it. Huge, beautiful, delicious-smelling Christmas market! This one was my favourite of all. The stalls were cuter than any of the others, the food was different and amazing, and the shopping was actually good (i.e. not just doilies and angels!) We froze our butts off (I know, we are running out of body parts!) shopping around all day, but were not at all bothered by it, because it was so amazing!
Overall, I would say that the Christmas markets were a complete and total success. Although we have probably gained about 10 pounds each from all the booze and food, we are thoroughly satisfied with the experience and recommend that everyone visit the Christmas markets around here at least once!
Tonight, we are heading to Vienna to sleep in our somewhat skeezy looking hotel and tomorrow, we are flying home. It's hard to believe this day is already here, but it is.
See you all tomorrow!!
Steph :)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Well, that worked out nicely...
So, for the past few weeks, my life has revolved around whether or not I am about to be kicked out of the country. Basically, my school did not do its research properly and now all the Canadian teachers are in danger of being kicked out of the European Union and not being allowed back in for three months. Two weeks ago, a lawyer took us to the foreign police to get our visas extended... how did we do it, you ask? Easy! We told them we all had explosive diarrhoea and were too sick to travel. We had a doctor’s note and everything. Ta-da! Just like that, we were allowed to stay in the country until December 26th. Beautiful.
On Saturday (November 27th), I went to Vienna to meet up with Pat and check out my first ever Christmas market. It was freaking awesome. The Christmas markets, so far, seem like an excellent excuse to stand around drinking hot wine, eating decadent foods, and shopping for things you don’t really need. The market in Vienna was beautiful and really amped up my excitement about all the other Christmas markets there are to see in the next few weeks. That night, I headed back to Bratislava for an American Thanksgiving celebration. More delicious food and a fair few bottles of wine later, I came to the conclusion that American Thanksgiving kicks Canadian Thanksgiving’s ass any day.
On Sunday, without a care in the world except a very minor (or maybe not so minor) post-Thanksgiving hangover, I headed to the bus station to pick up Kristelle. It was so exciting to see her! She was jet-lagged and I was exhausted, so we didn’t get much accomplished that day other than napping, introductions to my friends, and discussing the shenanigans of the evening before.
On Tuesday, Kristelle began volunteering at my school and everyone instantly loved her. Despite her telling them that she had worked with children many times before, they were in awe that she was so good with kids. That very same night, I received a phone call from the Human Resources lady at school, informing me that I was no longer allowed working at school because it was illegal (if I’m too sick to travel, I’m too sick to work, right?) and that I would have to leave the country immediately. Awesome. Several phone calls (both within Bratislava and to Canada) later, we came to the conclusion that I could go to school on Wednesday, but would be spending the day traveling to consulates and embassies begging to be allowed to stay legally. That never happened. Instead, by the end of a rather stressful day, I was informed that I would be allowed to continue to teach my class, but with an assistant in there with me full time. If anyone asked, we would tell them that my assistant was in fact the teacher and that I was at school just for the day to check on some paperwork. It still didn’t seem like the best plan to me (no one could be so stupid as to fall for that, really) but I went along with it, because I couldn’t come up with anything better.
The next problem that arose was that the assistant they had picked out for me did not want to leave his current job. We had a meeting, he put up a fight and he ultimately got what he wanted... he is staying right where he is and leaving me stranded in Grade 1. A few hours later, Catherine, our vice-principal and provider of common sense, came to me and asked whether Kristelle would like to be paid to be here. I couldn’t say for sure, but really, who would turn down money on their holiday? The next day, Kristelle was officially announced as my new Grade 1 assistant, allowing me to stay in the country until at least Christmas. After Christmas is a different story... if my papers don’t come through on time, then I will have to wait for them in Canada... I might even be there for up to a month!
Anyway, so now that I don’t have to flee the country, Kristelle and I are back on track to visit all the Christmas markets. Last night, we went down to the market in Bratislava. The shopping is kinda crappy – lots of doilies, ugly angels, and homemade shot glasses – but the food, drink, and atmosphere was delightful. It was incredibly crowded, though, so we are planning on going back during the day in hopes that there will be fewer people around and more opportunities to find nice things.
Next weekend, we are going to Prague to see the market as well as the world’s biggest castle (we think). The weekend after that, we will go to Budapest for yet another market and, hopefully, we will be able to squeeze in a trip to Vienna to complete the market madness! In the meantime, we are hanging out in Bratislava, drinking hot chocolate and eating meals that we make up as we go. Super!
See you all in 17 days!
Steph :)
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Too good to pass up.
Alright, so I haven't really done anything good lately, but here's a funny class story that I just couldn't keep to myself.
Yesterday at lunch, a super cute kid in my class came up to me and said "How many clocks it is?" I didn't know what to say... I pointed to my watch and asked her if she was asking me for the time. She said yes. I told her how to ask correctly and gave her the time. It was priceless.
Here's her photo, just so you know how cute she is.
Yesterday at lunch, a super cute kid in my class came up to me and said "How many clocks it is?" I didn't know what to say... I pointed to my watch and asked her if she was asking me for the time. She said yes. I told her how to ask correctly and gave her the time. It was priceless.
Here's her photo, just so you know how cute she is.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
In The Land of Meatballs!
Ok, so I’m a week late posting this again and I’m sorry... but it’s just not easy traipsing all over Europe on the weekends and then facing three whole days of school afterwards :)
Anyway, so last Saturday (the 30th) Shelby, Danko and I boarded our Ryan Air flight to Stockholm. We started the trip off on the right foot by playing “spot the serial killer” at the airport. It was awesome, and I recommend the game to everyone – all you have to do is look around you and find someone who looks somewhat sketchy (it’s pretty easy to do) then make up some kind of story about them, explaining why they are a serial killer. So much fun. We found the best possible serial killer (his head was waaaayyy too small for his body... he therefore had a lot of pent up anger and took it out on people by chopping their heads off) and, just to make the evening complete, Danko had to sit next to him on the plane. He made it out alive, in case anyone was wondering!
When we arrived in Stockholm, we headed for our hostel. We got one with a really excellent location, so we were able to walk to it from the train station. When we walked in, there was an arm wrestling (or “broken arm” as it is literally translated from Swedish) competition going on in front of our room. As it turns out, the arm wrestling champion of Sweden (yeah, they have one!) is a nineteen year-old boy who likes to party in Stockholm on the weekends. He was teaching his roommates the proper technique for arm wrestling. It was wildly entertaining to watch, mostly because of his awesome accent and the fact that his elbow was bleeding all over everything and he just kept saying that it was an “occupational hazard”.
When we finally got over watching the competition unfold, we went out on the town. It was already pretty late, so we just had dinner, then bought a couple of beers to bring back to the hostel. On Sunday morning, we went exploring. Stockholm is actually an archipelago, so there are tons of bridges around and more than enough waterways to keep me thoroughly lost the whole time. We walked around all day and saw lots of cool stuff – the world’s largest royal palace, the changing of the guards, a tower bridge with an excellent view of the city, and about a million fancy schmancy streets that reminded me so much of Paris. We were also pretty thrown off by the fact that everyone, everywhere, greets you with “Hey Hey”. In Swedish, Hej means hello, so that’s how they greet you in restaurants, shops, bars, hostels, etc. I realize it’s a different language and it shouldn’t freak me out so much, but it did. It was just too weird.
There was also a fair amount of hilarity to be had. Sweden is famous for some pretty ridiculous things... for instance, Pipi Longstocking (who knew?). Her cute little ginger head can be seen in most shop fronts, on anything from dolls to t-shirts to backpacks. Then there is ABBA, of course, and I’d say that an ABBA babushka counts as pretty frickin’ funny! IKEA is another big one for Sweden, but I have to say we were pretty disappointed on that front. Sure, all the furniture we saw was from there and we saw the special “IKEA bus” which just shuttles people from downtown to IKEA, but otherwise, not so wild. Finally, there are the world-famous Swedish meatballs. All I have to say is Mmmmmm... they were absolutely delightful and worth every last penny we spent on them (not that they were that expensive, but alas).
On Monday, we did much the same as Sunday – that is, wander the streets aimlessly taking photos of every single last thing we saw and taking notes for our future castles. We also went on a boat tour of the main canal, which was mildly interesting and rendered all the better by the fact that I didn’t throw up! Whoop whoop!
That’s about it for the Swedish adventures... but I did save the best for last. The Vikings!!! Yes! They were also everywhere. Giant Vikings in store windows, Vikings on pins and magnets and, of course, Viking hats for all to try on (and photograph) at all the tourist shops along the way. It was hilarious and wonderful. So, I leave you with one final though – Where would we be without the Vikings?
Next adventure - Kristelle in Europe!! Whoop whoop!!!
Steph :)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Croatia!!
Ok, so I may be a week late in posting about my weekend getaway to Croatia, but to be fair, a lot has happened since them. Let me explain.
Last Friday, Shelby, Danko, Jackie, Christina and I were supposed to be driving to Croatia. The car we were renting was going to be delivered to the school between 14:30 and 15:00. Well, at 14:00, Danko received a text message saying "I am sorry, I no longer have a car for you. The previous renter crashed it." How depressing! We all thought that our road trip was being cancelled. Not to be outsmarted by a car rental guy, however, Danko had other rent-a-car places bookmarked on his computer. We went to check them out and, twenty minutes later, had reserved another car. The only problem with this one was that we had to pick it up at the airport. No biggie. The girls were working for at least another half hour, so Danko and I figured we would trek down there ourselves, drive back to school with the car, pick up the girls and be on the road by 16:00 max. False.
The airport is three buses away. We got on and off the first one without a hitch. Same for the second one. The problems began when we got off the third bus. Thinking we had passed our stop from lack of attention, we ended up getting off the bus three stops early. Seeing as the next bus wasn't coming for another 25 minutes, we decided to just walk... how far could three stops really be? The answer, it turns out, is freakin' far. A forty-five minute walk brought us to the stop we were actually supposed to get off at. We continued walking, now looking for the rental place. There really wasn't anything in sight, so we stopped at a garage to ask for directions. We figured the guy in there must know where it was, since we were supposedly on the right street. Well, he did not know. He did, however, put me on the phone with someone who spoke English and could direct me. With our newfound directions, we headed back up the street. Well, the directions were wrong. We absolutely were not at the right place.
Finally, Danko decided to call the car rental place and just ask them. They said "Get back on the bus and go one stop." Back to the bus stop we went. We missed the bus by 3 minutes so, for just one stop, we decided to walk... again. We walked another 20 minutes to reach the next stop, which was in the middle of nowhere. As we were walking, Danko's phone rang. It was the car people, asking where we were. When he told them, they freaked out, saying that that was still the wrong stop and that they were actually in the airport! We were really starting to get annoyed now, but we hopped back on the bus and, this time, ended up at the right place. We got our car, picked up the girls, and were on the road to Croatia (through the back roads of Hungary and Slovenia) by 19:00. Only five hours behind schedule.
When we finally arrived in Varaždin it was midnight. We met Danko's grandmother and a few of his friends (all drunk - except Granny), then went straight to sleep. The next day, we went exploring. Varaždin is a pretty small town, but it's really cute (hence all the photos of random streets I put up on Facebook). We visited the castle, which used to have a moat (!), went to a couple little coffee shops, attempted to buy oranges at a market (without our trusty translator - Danko), and basically just wandered the streets for the entire day.
That night, we went out to celebrate Danko's birthday. Apparently, it is a Croatian tradition (or perhaps only amongst Danko and his friends...) to pre-drink in the park. And what is the drink of choice, you ask? Wine and coke, of course. It's awful. Anyway, we drank there for a while (watering the grass a few times, I must admit) then proceeded to hit up pretty much every bar in the city. We drank, we danced, we sang, and we finally got home at 5:00 in the morning. The next day, Granny made us lunch (yummy!!!), we packed up the car, and we headed back to Bratislava. Overall, you might think finding the car was the most exciting part of the weekend, but Croatia was exactly what we needed. A wonderful weekend relaxing with friends. We are all counting down the days until we can do it again!
On Monday, unfortunately, it was back to school time. I am really learning to dread Mondays here. It's like they're cursed... there's always something going wrong. On this specific Monday, the first grade teacher did not show up for work. Catherine, the vice-principal, asked me if I would cover her class for the day, since mine is basically the only class with two teachers in it. I did it. By the end of the day, it became apparent that the grade one teacher had quit and they needed to find a replacement. Who did they ask to cover until they can find someone? Me. DAMN! I do not know anything about grade one. Nor do I want to give up all my painting, colouring, and play-doh time! Right now, it looks like I will be there for at least another two weeks. Hopefully they will find someone soon... I am very afraid to screw these kids over and never teach them to read anything at all!!
Next weekend, Shelby, Danko, and I are going to Stockholm for the long weekend!! We are starting to get really excited about it, even though we really don't know anything about the place. Hopefully, by the time we get back, I will have loads of stories to tell about meatballs, IKEA, and awesome accents!
Dovidenia!!
Steph :)
Last Friday, Shelby, Danko, Jackie, Christina and I were supposed to be driving to Croatia. The car we were renting was going to be delivered to the school between 14:30 and 15:00. Well, at 14:00, Danko received a text message saying "I am sorry, I no longer have a car for you. The previous renter crashed it." How depressing! We all thought that our road trip was being cancelled. Not to be outsmarted by a car rental guy, however, Danko had other rent-a-car places bookmarked on his computer. We went to check them out and, twenty minutes later, had reserved another car. The only problem with this one was that we had to pick it up at the airport. No biggie. The girls were working for at least another half hour, so Danko and I figured we would trek down there ourselves, drive back to school with the car, pick up the girls and be on the road by 16:00 max. False.
The airport is three buses away. We got on and off the first one without a hitch. Same for the second one. The problems began when we got off the third bus. Thinking we had passed our stop from lack of attention, we ended up getting off the bus three stops early. Seeing as the next bus wasn't coming for another 25 minutes, we decided to just walk... how far could three stops really be? The answer, it turns out, is freakin' far. A forty-five minute walk brought us to the stop we were actually supposed to get off at. We continued walking, now looking for the rental place. There really wasn't anything in sight, so we stopped at a garage to ask for directions. We figured the guy in there must know where it was, since we were supposedly on the right street. Well, he did not know. He did, however, put me on the phone with someone who spoke English and could direct me. With our newfound directions, we headed back up the street. Well, the directions were wrong. We absolutely were not at the right place.
Finally, Danko decided to call the car rental place and just ask them. They said "Get back on the bus and go one stop." Back to the bus stop we went. We missed the bus by 3 minutes so, for just one stop, we decided to walk... again. We walked another 20 minutes to reach the next stop, which was in the middle of nowhere. As we were walking, Danko's phone rang. It was the car people, asking where we were. When he told them, they freaked out, saying that that was still the wrong stop and that they were actually in the airport! We were really starting to get annoyed now, but we hopped back on the bus and, this time, ended up at the right place. We got our car, picked up the girls, and were on the road to Croatia (through the back roads of Hungary and Slovenia) by 19:00. Only five hours behind schedule.
When we finally arrived in Varaždin it was midnight. We met Danko's grandmother and a few of his friends (all drunk - except Granny), then went straight to sleep. The next day, we went exploring. Varaždin is a pretty small town, but it's really cute (hence all the photos of random streets I put up on Facebook). We visited the castle, which used to have a moat (!), went to a couple little coffee shops, attempted to buy oranges at a market (without our trusty translator - Danko), and basically just wandered the streets for the entire day.
That night, we went out to celebrate Danko's birthday. Apparently, it is a Croatian tradition (or perhaps only amongst Danko and his friends...) to pre-drink in the park. And what is the drink of choice, you ask? Wine and coke, of course. It's awful. Anyway, we drank there for a while (watering the grass a few times, I must admit) then proceeded to hit up pretty much every bar in the city. We drank, we danced, we sang, and we finally got home at 5:00 in the morning. The next day, Granny made us lunch (yummy!!!), we packed up the car, and we headed back to Bratislava. Overall, you might think finding the car was the most exciting part of the weekend, but Croatia was exactly what we needed. A wonderful weekend relaxing with friends. We are all counting down the days until we can do it again!
On Monday, unfortunately, it was back to school time. I am really learning to dread Mondays here. It's like they're cursed... there's always something going wrong. On this specific Monday, the first grade teacher did not show up for work. Catherine, the vice-principal, asked me if I would cover her class for the day, since mine is basically the only class with two teachers in it. I did it. By the end of the day, it became apparent that the grade one teacher had quit and they needed to find a replacement. Who did they ask to cover until they can find someone? Me. DAMN! I do not know anything about grade one. Nor do I want to give up all my painting, colouring, and play-doh time! Right now, it looks like I will be there for at least another two weeks. Hopefully they will find someone soon... I am very afraid to screw these kids over and never teach them to read anything at all!!
Next weekend, Shelby, Danko, and I are going to Stockholm for the long weekend!! We are starting to get really excited about it, even though we really don't know anything about the place. Hopefully, by the time we get back, I will have loads of stories to tell about meatballs, IKEA, and awesome accents!
Dovidenia!!
Steph :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
All true, I swear.
Ok, so seven weeks into kindergarten, and I feel confident in stating that I have seen and heard some of the funniest/most shocking things of all time from the 4 year-olds at Forel International School.
First, let me tell you the tale of Bibi (that's her name, no kidding). Bibi is a 3 year-old who is spoiled rotten... and I do mean rotten. Thankfully, Bibi is not in my class (I have the older kids - the 4 year old geezers), because when she doesn't get exactly what she wants exactly when she wants it, Bibi starts wailing. One of the things Bibi generally wants is to not nap. So, she usually gets kicked out of the napping room and thrown into my room, where we are resting quietly. As she walks in, I always tell her, "Bibi, if you are going to be in this room, you have to be quiet and you have to put your clothes on" (because they sleep in pyjamas and, apparently, she only ever starts wailing after she has changed). Well, Bibi does not like that. Usually, all she has to do is pout at her mom and she will have a slave to change her. I am not about to start dressing her everyday, so I just make her sit alone until she sees fit to get dressed. Generally, she sits around sobbing for 10 or 15 minutes, realizes I'm not coming over there, and shuts the hell up while she gets dressed. Last week, she changed her pattern. Here's how it went:
1) Bibi walks in as children are playing.
2) Steph tells Bibi that she can play once she is dressed.
3) Bibi wails.
4) Steph tells Bibi to be quiet and to change.
5) Bibi pouts, removes all her clothes (all of them).
6) Bibi goes to play, butt naked.
7) Steph tells Bibi that changing actually involves putting on new clothes, and not simply removing one's pyjamas.
8) Bibi wails.
9) Bibi sits on the carpet, still naked, and proceeds to rub her hooha all over it.
10) Steph tells Bibi to stop, stifling giggles.
11) Bibi pouts, then crosses her legs pretzel-style, further exposing herself to the world.
12) Steph lays out Bibi's clothes because she really doesn't need to see this, but still refuses to give in to a 3 year-olds pressure tactics.
13) Bibi wails.
14) Bibi sticks her fingers in nature's pocket for no apparent reason, the goes to play again.
15) Steph drags Bibi back to her clothes and forces her to get dressed.
16) Bibi wails, but ultimately loses the battle and gets dressed.
17) Steph disinfects any and all toys Bibi may have touched after #14.
It was a good day.
While this whole Bibi incident may be somewhat shocking and disturbing, I also get my fair share of hilarity. Take today, for example. For the past 3 or 4 weeks, we have been telling kids that they are not allowed to bring in toys from home. We have also been e-mailing this rule to their parents. We are failing. The kids continue to bring in their toys, so we simply make them leave them in their lockers, in hopes that one day they will realize that it is, in fact, pointless to bring them to school when they cannot even play with them. Today, as usual, Marco brought his toy car to school. I told him to leave it in his locker, and he did. Then, after snack, he thought he'd try to sneak it back into the room. He waltzed right by me with a huge toy car in his hand. So, I said "Marco, we don't play with toys from home at school. Please go put it in your locker." He looked at me, stomped his foot, and said "No!" Before I even got the chance to say anything, Ninka, a super-cute little girl with no front teeth except her canines (i.e. vampire teeth) looks at him and says, very sternly, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, TIME OUT!" She then turns to me (I am now officially cracking up and trying to hide my smile behind my hand) and says matter-of-factly "Marco is time out." All I could do was shake my head "No". I literally could not speak. Apparently, her counting worked on Marco, though, because he turned around and put it away.
Now, I'm going to assume that most of you don't think that last story is that funny, because odds are she was just copying something she had heard me say in the past, right? Wrong! I have never ever used the words Time Out in my class. I HATE the words Time Out. She just blurted them out, out of the blue. It was brilliant, and if you can't see that, well it sucks to be you!
Other than that, I have many children who drop their pants in the middle of the playground just for fun, my whole class thinks it's Friday everyday except Friday (then, they think it's Monday - I think they are taunting me), and I am becoming fluent in Slovak commands because this is all they understand.
My life outside of school continues to be relatively boring. I come home after school and am to tired to make the trek from my place to anywhere (it's pretty remote!) and on weekends I usually hang out with friends from work doing ever-so-exciting things such as making play-doh, doing groceries, or watching movies (we saw The Expendables... I promise I didn't know what it was about when I agreed and I absolutely did not enjoy it). This coming weekend, however, I will add a little spice to my life when 4 friends and I rent a car and drive to Croatia!!! Danko has friends and family down there, so we are tagging along with him... he will show us around, his grandmother will feed us some Croatian food, then we will party it up Croatian-style for Christina and Danko's birthdays which happen to be the following week. It should be awesome, so maybe I'll have something wild to write on here when I get back.
Dovidenia!
Steph :)
First, let me tell you the tale of Bibi (that's her name, no kidding). Bibi is a 3 year-old who is spoiled rotten... and I do mean rotten. Thankfully, Bibi is not in my class (I have the older kids - the 4 year old geezers), because when she doesn't get exactly what she wants exactly when she wants it, Bibi starts wailing. One of the things Bibi generally wants is to not nap. So, she usually gets kicked out of the napping room and thrown into my room, where we are resting quietly. As she walks in, I always tell her, "Bibi, if you are going to be in this room, you have to be quiet and you have to put your clothes on" (because they sleep in pyjamas and, apparently, she only ever starts wailing after she has changed). Well, Bibi does not like that. Usually, all she has to do is pout at her mom and she will have a slave to change her. I am not about to start dressing her everyday, so I just make her sit alone until she sees fit to get dressed. Generally, she sits around sobbing for 10 or 15 minutes, realizes I'm not coming over there, and shuts the hell up while she gets dressed. Last week, she changed her pattern. Here's how it went:
1) Bibi walks in as children are playing.
2) Steph tells Bibi that she can play once she is dressed.
3) Bibi wails.
4) Steph tells Bibi to be quiet and to change.
5) Bibi pouts, removes all her clothes (all of them).
6) Bibi goes to play, butt naked.
7) Steph tells Bibi that changing actually involves putting on new clothes, and not simply removing one's pyjamas.
8) Bibi wails.
9) Bibi sits on the carpet, still naked, and proceeds to rub her hooha all over it.
10) Steph tells Bibi to stop, stifling giggles.
11) Bibi pouts, then crosses her legs pretzel-style, further exposing herself to the world.
12) Steph lays out Bibi's clothes because she really doesn't need to see this, but still refuses to give in to a 3 year-olds pressure tactics.
13) Bibi wails.
14) Bibi sticks her fingers in nature's pocket for no apparent reason, the goes to play again.
15) Steph drags Bibi back to her clothes and forces her to get dressed.
16) Bibi wails, but ultimately loses the battle and gets dressed.
17) Steph disinfects any and all toys Bibi may have touched after #14.
It was a good day.
While this whole Bibi incident may be somewhat shocking and disturbing, I also get my fair share of hilarity. Take today, for example. For the past 3 or 4 weeks, we have been telling kids that they are not allowed to bring in toys from home. We have also been e-mailing this rule to their parents. We are failing. The kids continue to bring in their toys, so we simply make them leave them in their lockers, in hopes that one day they will realize that it is, in fact, pointless to bring them to school when they cannot even play with them. Today, as usual, Marco brought his toy car to school. I told him to leave it in his locker, and he did. Then, after snack, he thought he'd try to sneak it back into the room. He waltzed right by me with a huge toy car in his hand. So, I said "Marco, we don't play with toys from home at school. Please go put it in your locker." He looked at me, stomped his foot, and said "No!" Before I even got the chance to say anything, Ninka, a super-cute little girl with no front teeth except her canines (i.e. vampire teeth) looks at him and says, very sternly, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, TIME OUT!" She then turns to me (I am now officially cracking up and trying to hide my smile behind my hand) and says matter-of-factly "Marco is time out." All I could do was shake my head "No". I literally could not speak. Apparently, her counting worked on Marco, though, because he turned around and put it away.
Now, I'm going to assume that most of you don't think that last story is that funny, because odds are she was just copying something she had heard me say in the past, right? Wrong! I have never ever used the words Time Out in my class. I HATE the words Time Out. She just blurted them out, out of the blue. It was brilliant, and if you can't see that, well it sucks to be you!
Other than that, I have many children who drop their pants in the middle of the playground just for fun, my whole class thinks it's Friday everyday except Friday (then, they think it's Monday - I think they are taunting me), and I am becoming fluent in Slovak commands because this is all they understand.
My life outside of school continues to be relatively boring. I come home after school and am to tired to make the trek from my place to anywhere (it's pretty remote!) and on weekends I usually hang out with friends from work doing ever-so-exciting things such as making play-doh, doing groceries, or watching movies (we saw The Expendables... I promise I didn't know what it was about when I agreed and I absolutely did not enjoy it). This coming weekend, however, I will add a little spice to my life when 4 friends and I rent a car and drive to Croatia!!! Danko has friends and family down there, so we are tagging along with him... he will show us around, his grandmother will feed us some Croatian food, then we will party it up Croatian-style for Christina and Danko's birthdays which happen to be the following week. It should be awesome, so maybe I'll have something wild to write on here when I get back.
Dovidenia!
Steph :)
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