You Don't Can!

I have nothing interesting to report, but some people (you know who you are!) have been harassing me for a new post, so I thought I'd tell you about an incredibly frustrating habit that my students have and which I seem unable to break. Usually, when my kids do something annoying, I ask them to stop (sometimes 3, 4, or 5 times) and they do. When they say something that is so grammatically incorrect that I cringe when I hear it (I can something go buy?) I have them repeat the correct sentence after me and they usually get it after a few repetitions. This latest thing, however, is driving me insane.

Somehow, my kids have gotten it into their heads that the correct way to say that someone can't do something is to say you don't can. It makes no sense and they will not change! The other day, I heard some of them saying it and I started wondering whether this was a common thing amongst Slovak children. So, I went next door to grade 2 and asked one of the students to come see me (a student whose English is not so strong... if anyone would make a common mistake, he would). I looked at him very seriously and said "Fedor, can you fly?" He gave me a strange look and said, simply, "No." Fair enough. So I said "Say, No, I ___ fly." Easy enough... he said "No, I can't fly." That settled it for me. Only my kids have a freaky habit of saying I don't can.

My visit to grade 2 struck some curiosity, though, and the second graders promptly started asking me why I was asking such silly questions. I saw no harm in telling them what I had been looking for. They did not believe me that my students would say such a thing as "don't can", so they followed me back to my class for proof. I called over a repeat don't can offender and asked him the same question I had asked Fedor. He said "No, I can't fly." Of course, the one time I want him to say I don't can, he says I can't. Fine. I tried another student. Again, I can't. Are you kidding me?!? The second graders looked at me like I was insane (again) and left the room. My students looked at me like I was insane (definitely not the first time) and resumed their games. I rolled my eyes and sat at my desk.

Not ten minutes later, after reading our morning message which said "Happy Wednesday" although it was Thursday, the kids all shout out, in unison, "You don't can trick us!!!" Officially, they're doing it to torture me.