Ok, so clearly my Facebook status has intrigued some people. Here is the full story for your reading pleasure.
So, as we may have already concluded from previous posts, the lawyers at my school are sometimes (most times) not that smart. They keep finding "solutions" for my fellow Canadians and me to stay in the country, but they always backfire. The last one, as you may recall, was the saga of the explosive diarrhea, which got us a "tolerated residence" stamp that was supposed to be good until December 26th.
Yesterday, December 22nd (pre-visa-expiry, you may notice), I flew from Vienna to Zurich, then from Zurich to Montreal. In Zurich, I had to go through passport control. I was not stressed about it all, but maybe I should have been... when I got up to the counter, the officer (whom I cannot refer to as he or she, because I honestly couldn't decide) looked through my passport at my stamps, then looked back up at me and asked me whether or not I had actually entered the EU in August. I said yes (there was stamp, how could I lie?). The officer then proceeded to count the number of months I'd ben around on his/her fingers and came up with four... one too many. We then had a brief discussion in which I pointed out my "tolerated residence", thinking this would clear things up. False. I was met with nothing more than I blank stare and a "I've never seen this before, we'll have to check it." A quick phone call later, another officer arrived, took my passport and boarding pass and walked away. Super. He was back within 5 minutes, and he lead me to the immigration part of the airport (i.e. the police station within the airport). I waited there about 10 minutes, stressing about how much trouble I was about to get in and about how my flight was boarding in 10 more minutes.
Finally, the man came back out with my passport. He said "I've never seen this stamp before. This is nothing." Again, wonderful. Then, his gaze dropped to my boobs. It stayed there for the entire remainder of the conversation. As he stared at my bosom, I told him that this was all I had, this was what the Slovak police gave me. He continued to say it was nothing, and that I wasn't supposed to stay in the EU longer than 3 months (he also counted on his fingers... this makes me feel much better about my first graders' math skills) and that overstaying that time incurs a fine of 580 Swiss Francs. He was very stern with my breasts. Exasperated, I told him there was nothing I could do, so to just get on with it. I figured I would just pay the fine and get on with my day... it was not worth missing my flight. I said "So, what do I do?" His answer: to shove my passport at my boobs (where he was still looking) and say "Go to your flight." I fled, and didn't look back.
Apparently, a good stare at my tatas is worth at least 580 Francs. Good to know.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Street Meat Heaven!
Let's see... when I last posted, I was thisclose to being kicked out of the country and Kristelle came to the rescue by becoming my "assistant". With that crisis out of the way, we were free to tackle our next mission - to visit all the big Christmas markets in three weeks' time. Success! Here's how it went.
As you all know, Kristelle's first official Slovak weekend was spent in the somewhat-crappy, though outstanding smelling Bratislava Christmas market. We drank some hot wine, froze our tatas off looking at doilies and were left with an ominous feeling about markets to come. Nevertheless, we headed to Prague the following weekend. We took a train on Friday night and drank some mildly alcoholic Coke on the 4 and a half hour ride. When we got there, it was already 1 o'clock in the morning, so we basically crashed right away. The next morning, we set out for the markets. When we arrived at the first one, we were reminded of Bratislava. Small, great smell, boring to shop at. We figured that even though the market seemed crappy, we could at least spend the weekend visiting Prague. So, we started walking away from this market, only to turn the corner and run into another, slightly larger, market. We visited this one thoroughly, then continued on, taking pictures of the amazing architecture on the way. Once again, we turned a corner and BAM! another market stood before us. This one was gigantic! We walked up and down the aisles and were in complete sensory overload. Half pigs roasting to one side, chocolate covered fruits on the other, shops here, stalls there, hot wine, hot chocolate with rum... the list goes on and on. We were in awe! We spent the better part of the day shopping, eating, and drinking and finally capped it all off with a visit to the "love bridge" and the Lennon Wall, a huge brick wall dedicated to john Lennon, completely covered in graffiti quoting his songs and ideals. It was pretty sweet! The next day, we went back to the market (of course!) because there was no way we could have fully appreciated it in one day. We also took time out of our busy shopping and eating schedule to take a look at the world's biggest castle. As it's name suggests, it's huge!!! There wasn't even a way to get the whole thing in one picture, because no matter how far away you stood, it was still too big! After two whirlwind days in Prague, we were already beginning to feel excited about what was awaiting us in Budapest.
The following weekend, that's exactly where we went. Upon arrival in Budapest, we had no idea where we were, so we asked around. We figured it could not be that difficult to find a huge outdoor market with a giant Christmas tree as its center in the heart of Budapest. Wrong. We asked and asked and asked, and still no one seemed to know what the "Christmas market" was, let alone where we could find it. Eventually, someone told us to take bus #7 and go two stops. We did. It lead nowhere. We walked and walked and walked and finally came across a dinky little street, haphazardly decorated and containing about 10 stalls. Disappointment began to creep in. We shopped a little bit, and at every stall asked whether there was another market somewhere else. We got "No"s all around. We started thinking about leaving early.
Finally, at the end of this rink-a-dink road, we saw a hot wine stall. Having come all the way to Budapest for such a terrible market, we decided wine was a must. Just for good measure we asked the bartender whether or not there was another market. He said yes!!! A good 30 minute walk later, we found it. Huge, beautiful, delicious-smelling Christmas market! This one was my favourite of all. The stalls were cuter than any of the others, the food was different and amazing, and the shopping was actually good (i.e. not just doilies and angels!) We froze our butts off (I know, we are running out of body parts!) shopping around all day, but were not at all bothered by it, because it was so amazing!
Overall, I would say that the Christmas markets were a complete and total success. Although we have probably gained about 10 pounds each from all the booze and food, we are thoroughly satisfied with the experience and recommend that everyone visit the Christmas markets around here at least once!
Tonight, we are heading to Vienna to sleep in our somewhat skeezy looking hotel and tomorrow, we are flying home. It's hard to believe this day is already here, but it is.
See you all tomorrow!!
Steph :)
As you all know, Kristelle's first official Slovak weekend was spent in the somewhat-crappy, though outstanding smelling Bratislava Christmas market. We drank some hot wine, froze our tatas off looking at doilies and were left with an ominous feeling about markets to come. Nevertheless, we headed to Prague the following weekend. We took a train on Friday night and drank some mildly alcoholic Coke on the 4 and a half hour ride. When we got there, it was already 1 o'clock in the morning, so we basically crashed right away. The next morning, we set out for the markets. When we arrived at the first one, we were reminded of Bratislava. Small, great smell, boring to shop at. We figured that even though the market seemed crappy, we could at least spend the weekend visiting Prague. So, we started walking away from this market, only to turn the corner and run into another, slightly larger, market. We visited this one thoroughly, then continued on, taking pictures of the amazing architecture on the way. Once again, we turned a corner and BAM! another market stood before us. This one was gigantic! We walked up and down the aisles and were in complete sensory overload. Half pigs roasting to one side, chocolate covered fruits on the other, shops here, stalls there, hot wine, hot chocolate with rum... the list goes on and on. We were in awe! We spent the better part of the day shopping, eating, and drinking and finally capped it all off with a visit to the "love bridge" and the Lennon Wall, a huge brick wall dedicated to john Lennon, completely covered in graffiti quoting his songs and ideals. It was pretty sweet! The next day, we went back to the market (of course!) because there was no way we could have fully appreciated it in one day. We also took time out of our busy shopping and eating schedule to take a look at the world's biggest castle. As it's name suggests, it's huge!!! There wasn't even a way to get the whole thing in one picture, because no matter how far away you stood, it was still too big! After two whirlwind days in Prague, we were already beginning to feel excited about what was awaiting us in Budapest.
The following weekend, that's exactly where we went. Upon arrival in Budapest, we had no idea where we were, so we asked around. We figured it could not be that difficult to find a huge outdoor market with a giant Christmas tree as its center in the heart of Budapest. Wrong. We asked and asked and asked, and still no one seemed to know what the "Christmas market" was, let alone where we could find it. Eventually, someone told us to take bus #7 and go two stops. We did. It lead nowhere. We walked and walked and walked and finally came across a dinky little street, haphazardly decorated and containing about 10 stalls. Disappointment began to creep in. We shopped a little bit, and at every stall asked whether there was another market somewhere else. We got "No"s all around. We started thinking about leaving early.
Finally, at the end of this rink-a-dink road, we saw a hot wine stall. Having come all the way to Budapest for such a terrible market, we decided wine was a must. Just for good measure we asked the bartender whether or not there was another market. He said yes!!! A good 30 minute walk later, we found it. Huge, beautiful, delicious-smelling Christmas market! This one was my favourite of all. The stalls were cuter than any of the others, the food was different and amazing, and the shopping was actually good (i.e. not just doilies and angels!) We froze our butts off (I know, we are running out of body parts!) shopping around all day, but were not at all bothered by it, because it was so amazing!
Overall, I would say that the Christmas markets were a complete and total success. Although we have probably gained about 10 pounds each from all the booze and food, we are thoroughly satisfied with the experience and recommend that everyone visit the Christmas markets around here at least once!
Tonight, we are heading to Vienna to sleep in our somewhat skeezy looking hotel and tomorrow, we are flying home. It's hard to believe this day is already here, but it is.
See you all tomorrow!!
Steph :)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Well, that worked out nicely...
So, for the past few weeks, my life has revolved around whether or not I am about to be kicked out of the country. Basically, my school did not do its research properly and now all the Canadian teachers are in danger of being kicked out of the European Union and not being allowed back in for three months. Two weeks ago, a lawyer took us to the foreign police to get our visas extended... how did we do it, you ask? Easy! We told them we all had explosive diarrhoea and were too sick to travel. We had a doctor’s note and everything. Ta-da! Just like that, we were allowed to stay in the country until December 26th. Beautiful.
On Saturday (November 27th), I went to Vienna to meet up with Pat and check out my first ever Christmas market. It was freaking awesome. The Christmas markets, so far, seem like an excellent excuse to stand around drinking hot wine, eating decadent foods, and shopping for things you don’t really need. The market in Vienna was beautiful and really amped up my excitement about all the other Christmas markets there are to see in the next few weeks. That night, I headed back to Bratislava for an American Thanksgiving celebration. More delicious food and a fair few bottles of wine later, I came to the conclusion that American Thanksgiving kicks Canadian Thanksgiving’s ass any day.
On Sunday, without a care in the world except a very minor (or maybe not so minor) post-Thanksgiving hangover, I headed to the bus station to pick up Kristelle. It was so exciting to see her! She was jet-lagged and I was exhausted, so we didn’t get much accomplished that day other than napping, introductions to my friends, and discussing the shenanigans of the evening before.
On Tuesday, Kristelle began volunteering at my school and everyone instantly loved her. Despite her telling them that she had worked with children many times before, they were in awe that she was so good with kids. That very same night, I received a phone call from the Human Resources lady at school, informing me that I was no longer allowed working at school because it was illegal (if I’m too sick to travel, I’m too sick to work, right?) and that I would have to leave the country immediately. Awesome. Several phone calls (both within Bratislava and to Canada) later, we came to the conclusion that I could go to school on Wednesday, but would be spending the day traveling to consulates and embassies begging to be allowed to stay legally. That never happened. Instead, by the end of a rather stressful day, I was informed that I would be allowed to continue to teach my class, but with an assistant in there with me full time. If anyone asked, we would tell them that my assistant was in fact the teacher and that I was at school just for the day to check on some paperwork. It still didn’t seem like the best plan to me (no one could be so stupid as to fall for that, really) but I went along with it, because I couldn’t come up with anything better.
The next problem that arose was that the assistant they had picked out for me did not want to leave his current job. We had a meeting, he put up a fight and he ultimately got what he wanted... he is staying right where he is and leaving me stranded in Grade 1. A few hours later, Catherine, our vice-principal and provider of common sense, came to me and asked whether Kristelle would like to be paid to be here. I couldn’t say for sure, but really, who would turn down money on their holiday? The next day, Kristelle was officially announced as my new Grade 1 assistant, allowing me to stay in the country until at least Christmas. After Christmas is a different story... if my papers don’t come through on time, then I will have to wait for them in Canada... I might even be there for up to a month!
Anyway, so now that I don’t have to flee the country, Kristelle and I are back on track to visit all the Christmas markets. Last night, we went down to the market in Bratislava. The shopping is kinda crappy – lots of doilies, ugly angels, and homemade shot glasses – but the food, drink, and atmosphere was delightful. It was incredibly crowded, though, so we are planning on going back during the day in hopes that there will be fewer people around and more opportunities to find nice things.
Next weekend, we are going to Prague to see the market as well as the world’s biggest castle (we think). The weekend after that, we will go to Budapest for yet another market and, hopefully, we will be able to squeeze in a trip to Vienna to complete the market madness! In the meantime, we are hanging out in Bratislava, drinking hot chocolate and eating meals that we make up as we go. Super!
See you all in 17 days!
Steph :)
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